TRANSCRIPT
Excuses, Be Gone | The Real Reason Moms Don’t Start… and What to Do About It
I will always have time for that that is important to me.
We are moms, we are bosses, and we're living abroad.
And in this brand new season of this exciting podcast, we are boosting the woman to woman connection through deep, intimate conversations to pause, reflect, and go beyond the skiing deep.
And we are here to celebrate your unique journey.
No matter how old your business or your babies or where you are in the world, you are not alone.
It's time to go deeper, understand better, and lean into more harmony and fun along the way.
We are Desiree and Iva, and this is Mom Bosses Abroad.
Hi, and welcome to a new episode of the Mom Bosses Abroad podcast.
I am Iva Perez, and I am here with my beautiful podcast co-host, Desiree Gonzalez.
And today is one of those intimate conversations.
Just want to want the two of us.
But because we feel so passionate about, you know, so many conversations that we either have with other moms or that we used to have as moms, and we just want to bring those conversations to the forefront, highlight them.
And possibly this also helps to get other beautiful mamas who are being their own bosses, living abroad, doing all the things to take action, get inspired and say, why not?
So hi, Des and welcome.
Hi, Iva.
I love being here and I love the topic that we have today because it's again so relevant to what we're going through each and every day.
It is.
And you know what's wild?
You know, as moms, we really do the impossible daily.
I mean, we keep humans alive and that's already more than enough, but we're also running households.
We are holding space emotionally, literally, and we still find ways to make magic in everything that we do, right?
We still make sure that the kids have their play dates or that the activities are taken care of or all the in-betweens.
But yet, I feel, and I don't know, you tell me if you feel the same.
Like sometimes when it comes to really looking at a business, either a business that we're running already, either the thought of starting a business or an idea of stepping into a project that could actually change our family's future, we tend to hit pause.
We hesitate.
We go into that space of saying, well, now is not the right time, or what would people think, or I don't know if I'm the one meant for this.
So what I'm trying to get at here is that sometimes those excuses are not really a weakness and they shouldn't stop us.
Because one thing is an excuse being part of your nervous system, trying to protect you from something that is unfamiliar and that is, but until it's not, you know what I mean?
Like, yeah, so I feel that today, it really is about holding up a mirror to this top five excuses that we tend to make as moms when it comes to stepping into something bigger, be it into a step of our income producing abilities, whether it's like going for something that we feel we want to put our name on it, or even hybrid of those two things, right?
We just had a conversation with a mom that basically said she was in a space where she wanted it all and why not.
So, yes, why not?
Yeah, we have established, right?
We can have it all.
We absolutely 100% can.
Sometimes, not always on the same day, but we can.
And I think there is, you're so right.
We are such superheroes in our own right.
We make so much happen that some people are like, how did you manage?
And some are like, you know what?
I have no idea.
I have no idea, but I did.
And we are really capable.
And sometimes I wake up on a really busy day with so many things on the calendar, both business and family wise, where you're like, how in the world am I going to do this and come out the other side?
Okay.
And usually those are the best days because we just make it work.
And you know what?
It's one of the funnest things for me lately.
And I guess this is like why we're doing the episode, first of all, because we are in so many conversations, right?
With such beautiful moms.
But they are coming with these, call it excuses, call it objections.
They're coming with those.
And I feel, and I think this is a really nice sign as well, how much we've grown because at the beginning, that would have already been like, oh, oh, okay.
And I would have taken that as like a no, or like, well, okay, then I guess I'll talk to, you know, like this conversation will go no further than this.
But now I feel that we are stepping into like our next layer where we're able to coach these moms and mentor these moms into going deeper into what they've just said, whether it's just an objection day voice, a fear maybe that's come out, and we're able to help them talk through it.
And I think those are almost the favorite parts of my conversation lately, because you are able to help them in so many ways that we often don't even know how deep that goes, but we are able to help them or see things from a different perspective.
And through each conversation, I have I myself learn even more about me, because I always apply it to me.
I'm always very empathetic to the conversations that I hold.
And I'm like, oh yeah, oh yeah.
Like, you know, like I listen to myself sometimes like, yes, I need to also live maybe a little bit more about what I'm saying or like this holds so true because I'm currently doing that or trying to do that better in my life, you know.
So I think this is how we've collected these top.
We could go on about forever, but like top five, I would say, we're coming like across daily, you know, in our conversations.
Yeah.
And as you say, this sometimes this excuses that we have heard.
They're not really hours if we think about them.
They're, they're, they're, they can be sometimes inherited, conditioned or culturally reinforced.
And what we want is to be able to bust them wide open.
Because the idea of this episode is all about just the, you know, the mindset shift of saying, what if the very reason you think you can't do this is the exact reason why you must?
So, yes, right.
And so the top excuse that, you know, that we have heard, like the top one of all times is the, I don't have money, which is why we recorded a whole episode on exactly that particular excuse slash objection slash resistance.
And you can listen to it on episode five of season five of our podcast.
But we're going to focus on other five excuses that are also making the top list.
And what about we get started with the number, number one that we have for today, Des?
Yes.
So the number one excuse is I don't want to be judged.
I'm scared of what other people may think of me.
What will my friends say?
What will my family say?
Yeah, it's this idea that this business model is some sort of cult, some sort of pyramid scheme.
And I'm going to lose my reputation somehow by even sharing that I am associated with this or a part of this.
And everything that has to do with this idea or thought is it really boils down to putting ourselves out there, especially online, knowing how there's a whole world of trolls and critics and people that have an opinion on everything and that they're very vocal in the comments, right?
And that we just don't want to put ourselves in that situation or in that space where people that we don't even know might have an opinion or something nasty to say about our decisions and our choices.
But I guess the turnaround to this is, hey, no one is really paying attention in the way that we think.
Don't you think?
Exactly.
I mean, the most people are so busy, especially the moms, they're so busy with their own lives, even our family or other friends or whoever we come across with.
Everyone's so busy with their own life, they're really not going to care that much or worry about much about what is worrying you, you know, or what you are saying.
To an extent, yes, but never to an extent that you think they may go into then discussing your situation and finding any sort of judgment in it.
I think it's more so in our heads, in our heads, in our own world where it plays a really, really big role and takes up a lot of space, probably a bigger space than it should.
And, you know, sometimes, yes, people may judge you.
That's correct.
People do take the time to talk either badly or they say something.
But you know what?
These people are not your people.
Those people are not the people that you're sharing this message to anyways.
You know?
Yeah.
And something really simple that I always say, just super, super simple, is like, are they leading the life that I want?
Do they have what I want to have?
Whether it be money, that lifestyle, that freedom, what they're doing each and every day?
No.
Then I'm sorry, they're not that important to me.
They also don't have the right to judge me because they're not living the life I want to live.
So why should I listen to them?
You know?
And the people that do have the results that you want are going to encourage you.
They're going to be the opposite.
They're going to cheer you on into moving forward.
So isn't that an interesting also parallel to draw from the situation?
It's like most likely those that do have an opinion against whatever it is, possibly they don't have the results that show what you're after.
Exactly.
And those are probably also the people that should be watching your journey, see what you're capable of.
And they're probably the ones who will come to you one day and be like, you know what, can I find out more about what you're doing as well?
So yeah.
So what's excuse number two?
So excuse number two is the very famous, I don't have the time.
And this one is a big one for any modern day adult, especially for moms.
We just, we have so many tabs open in our head that we just, we don't feel that we can open a new tab for anything, anything at all.
And one thing that it's a great shift for this, it's about noticing that we always have time for what is important.
Always.
We always have time for what is important.
And that also time is elastic.
It will expand and it will take up space, so to speak, to the extent that you allow it.
What do I mean by that is that a lot of us can identify with this idea of a deadline, a looming deadline.
And okay, let me put my example.
So my example is, we are about to travel to this amazing convention for this business in June 18th.
And so from today until that day, we have to pack our bags and we have to organize everything for the trip.
So time will expand because the most common thing that we do as humans is to say like, oh, I have X amount of weeks left to do this.
And so it will take me that amount of weeks to actually be able to do it.
But if I only had two days to pack everything, organize everything, I could also do it in two days.
But it's just a little bit of that subjective way in which we view time and that we interact with it.
That also makes a huge difference.
So what is your take on this?
I don't have time this.
Yeah, you said it so beautifully at the beginning.
Absolutely.
It's like, I will always have time for that that is important to me.
And it is exactly that.
You will make time.
It is all about also setting priorities.
If I think about sometimes the things I fill my day with in those little pockets of times, I'm like, Des, I think you could have used that time a little bit more wisely.
We are all a little bit victim of that sometimes.
That during like a nap time or something, we plop down, we doom scroll to sometimes.
I catch myself where I'm like, dude, in that time, I could have put out an ad.
I could have put out a really great post.
But instead, I was consuming other people's nonsense.
Sometimes it's nonsense.
So you've got to really think, okay, this is what's important to me now.
I do not have an overload of time.
So I'm going to make that little time that I have worthwhile.
And exactly, we have the pockets of time.
We've got naptimes.
We have evenings.
We've got voice notes.
We can voice message each other.
Like Iva and I, we don't have meetings on anything, really.
We voice message each other back and forth as we're picking up kids, as we're in the kitchen, as we're doing whatever, as we're on the way to a workout or something.
And that's how we plan our next episode.
For example, we don't have time either to sit down, but we still get the work done in a slightly other and creative base.
And it's about the power of these micro moments and how to intentionally stack them up.
And yeah, that list is city.
100% agreed on that one.
Hey mama, if you've been looking for a way to make an impact in health, create long-term wealth for your family, and design a freedom lifestyle, all while being part of an amazing supportive community, then listen up.
We found a business model that's not just about making money, but about doing soulful work that's truly aligned with who you are.
No more burnout, no more trading time for money, just a powerful proven way to create real change for yourself and others.
If this speaks to you, head over to mombossesabroad.com and watch a quick 30-minute video that could completely shift your perspective on what's possible for your future.
Because mama, you deserve freedom, abundance, and purpose.
Let's create it together.
Well, yeah, we sometimes feel that it has to be a long stretch of something to make an impact on the final result.
But you can even go and see a lot of fitness training programs that say like, you know, if you do five minutes here and five minutes there and five minutes there, you know, and you add them up throughout the day, you actually did those 20-minute cardio, you know, workout, resistance, training, whatever you want to call it.
And that's what counts.
So sometimes we just allow this image of saying, oh, it has to be this full hour for this.
That's the reason why we created this podcast, you know, Be Your Listeners, because it's like, you know, we understand that those micro-moments of commuting, where you cannot be on your laptop and you cannot be with your child in that moment, you can still be listening to something on the go.
And that also counts.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, exactly.
And today, a mom actually, as someone in our team, she's a mom that newly joined, and we have a mentorship that's kicking off today.
And she asked, like, am I allowed to like be off camera?
Am I allowed to just pop my headphones and I might have to walk around with her a little bit or take her on a stroller?
And I was like, oh my god, absolutely.
We are moms running these businesses alongside other moms.
Hell yes.
Yesterday, we had a team call.
My daughter was on my lap the whole entire time.
That's okay, you know?
Like, we are all familiar with each other's children, for example.
Yes, we don't have time sometimes to sit away for an hour.
Do it as you're walking along, you know?
I have my, like, zoom on my mobile phone and I attend meetings as I'm out sometimes.
It's just the way you decide to make it work.
And if you are really set on making it work, you also will make it work.
Yeah.
And this one is linked to the next one, to excuse number three, because it's true.
We say, I'm a mom, first and foremost, I am not filling the blank.
And this one goes into the direction of, well, I'm not a salesperson, or I'm not in, you know, that's not my background, or that's not a skill set that I have.
Like, I don't know how to sell things.
And you are not selling in this business.
So let's just do like a reframe on that.
You are not ever selling in this business.
What you're doing is that you're sharing something that helped you.
You're sharing from your own experience, from your own take on how something has helped you in such a powerful way that you want others to know about it because these are people that you care and that you want to share something of value with them.
And as moms, that is what we do, don't we?
You know, the moment that we need another mom, we're like, oh, would you happen to know where I can, fill in the blank, right?
Find this place, or I'm looking for this type of class for my kids, or, oh, tell me about this recipe that you made.
I've been always wanting to, you know, bake this type of cake or cupcakes or whatever.
Whatever it is, even in the most, you know, just lighthearted conversation, someone shares about a Netflix show that they are binge watching, because it lights them up, because they find it interesting, and they feel that sharing that with you is also going to be of some sort of help.
And that is what this is about.
This is called Align Marketing, and this is the space that we are coming from.
This is not the, you know, a little bit the sales-ly, ekey feeling that you get from other tactics that you see online, which really are not the way that we are approaching this, and we don't have any interest in approaching it that way, so that's why we just don't do it.
Exactly.
And also the main differences is Netflix going to pay you for recommending their show to a friend?
No.
No.
You know, I said to Iva, oh my god, your skin looks amazing.
And she's like, you know what, I tried this new facial.
It is awesome.
And I was like, oh, which salon did you go to?
Can I go there?
I'm going to be visiting you in Bali soon.
You know, like, can you show me, can you tell me where it is?
And then she'll send me right to there.
And yeah, is the salon going to pay her a commission for, you know, having brought in a new client?
Not really.
Absolutely not.
It's about genuine sharing.
Honestly, if something works for me, and if I'm passionate about something, I'm going to be sharing it with the people around me that I care about, especially if it's health related.
Especially if I have felt the differences, I experienced it, and I'm going to want to pay that forward to have another family feel this amazing about their own health, you know?
And possibly, especially when I know someone is struggling with something, what if I have the solution in my pocket?
What if I have the solution?
Wouldn't I be extremely selfish also not to share?
And not to tell them about what could potentially help their little child's skin, you know?
Or the gut health problems of a dear friend of mine, if I knew what the solution is.
So it's really about authenticity, about sharing, and about your belief as well.
So no, I don't consider myself ever having been a salesperson, or having sold anything to anybody, really.
And you don't have to.
That's the bottom line.
And so, excuse number four is, well, I don't have a big following.
What would you say to that one?
Well, neither do I.
Neither do I.
And a following is so relative.
And that's in a way also the beauty of this.
I don't need a hundred people in my business, or like random people.
I need a handful of really great people, really great business builder, and everything will go from there.
Right?
But at the same time, the numbers are often so skewed, and we mentioned this in a previous episode as well, that it's like, just if you close your eyes and you have, you stand, you're giving a little presentation in front of an audience of 80 people.
That's a lot of people.
How do you feel?
Do you feel super calm, or do you feel like, ooh, that's a lot of people?
It's 80.
What if we had only 80 followers?
How would you feel about that?
Oh, 80 is nothing.
It's so insignificant.
Yes, but you are still talking to a room full of 80 people and counting, and that's a lot of people, and that's plenty of people to make you rise to legacy as well.
You don't need a huge following, and honestly, the people that have a huge following, half of them are probably not really that paying attention that much either.
So, it's really here, it goes for over, like quality over quantity.
Yes, and it's also about more the idea of forming true connection and not just the vanity metrics of it, because there's a lot of people that have very big audiences, but they don't know how to monetize them.
They don't know what to do with that, other than all the people are there hanging out, but no one has bought a single thing from them, and they haven't been able to monetize either their talents or their skills, or a business service or product to such a huge following.
So, there is mastery to understanding that it's not about how many people or how many followers, it's about understanding how do I attract the right people and have the right conversations that are going to lead to the results that I want.
And when you focus on that, then that whole I don't have a big following naturally falls by the wayside because it's not really needed.
It doesn't really move the needle at the end of the day.
Exactly.
And also people that are inspired by what we spoke about just now, right?
People that are inspired by your authentic journey and by you sharing from a place of, I've lived this and this is authentic to me.
They'll be also drawn into reaching out and wanting to have those conversations with you.
Absolutely.
And now to top excuse number five is, well, now is not the right time.
Well, when is a right time, Iva?
Oh, it will never be the perfect time.
And we can see it as moms, right?
If we can never really say, oh, this was the perfect time to have children.
Like, we had to take a leap of faith as well, or maybe it wasn't the best time to fall in love with someone, right?
Or to be in a relationship or to whatever, you know, fill in the blank.
There's always, by way of life being in constant contrast, we will always be in situations that feel like not all the components and not all the conditions are there to make it the perfect ideal scenario.
But yet, here we are, right?
Nobody says it was going to be ideal to be parenting during a pandemic, but, you know, a lot of people ended up in that place.
And so, we all start from very imperfect circumstances.
If not, take a look at the story of how this podcast really began.
It was just normal conversations between two moms.
And our first episodes, you can still see us as little chicken nuggets, trying to figure it out.
But that really didn't stop us from saying, okay, let's do another one, and let's do another one, and let's do another one.
And practice makes perfect.
We are in a place where we just need to show up, and that counts more than just how perfect you think that showing up was or is, according to your own arbitrary metrics.
Exactly.
I totally agree.
I mean, a lot of times I hear this excuse actually of, let's say moms with very, very young children who say, now is not the right time.
Yeah, but as your children grow bigger, your time will also, there's going to be less and then there's going to be more activities and more activities.
If you already don't think it's the right time now, if you stay in that mindset, I think that it's very difficult for the right time to actually come along because then something you will come up.
Maybe there's going to be another baby coming along.
And so the years pass, right?
It keeps going.
And then you still haven't started the business.
As opposed to, let's start it.
We can start it at whatever pace.
Yes, we want to be there 100% with our kids.
So let's do that.
That's the aim anyways.
But that's the beauty.
We have no matrix.
We have no goal.
You need to do this by the certain time or you will lose everything.
Absolutely not.
People take it as slow or as fast as they feel they can in their season of life.
And if you have to stop and pause, it'll always be there for you to pick up.
But then what if years down the line, you look back, you're at this point in your life where you are more free, you are more financially stable because of the decision you took to start at that moment.
Absolutely.
Or are you going to go through all of these years and be like, still not sure whether it's the right time, you could have already had all of those boxes ticked, are those goals achieved?
Or are you still going to stand there at zero, still deciding whether it's the right time to start or not?
People tend to regret more what they didn't do than what they actually did do.
And so, that is one of the things that we regret the most, or at least it has been studied, what people regret the most on their deathbed.
And it's not going to be working harder.
It's not going to be missing milestones.
It's not going to be working for someone else's dream.
It's going to be the regret of not pursuing what you thought in your heart of hearts, felt aligned and it felt like it could really change everything for you and your family.
And it could really have turned things around in such a beautiful, magical way.
And when you look at it that way, then this whole idea that it's not the right time, it's just a construction.
It's a construction that we make in our minds, but it's not real.
Any moment that you decide to start is the right time.
What about if you begin thinking that any time that you start is the right time?
It had to be the right time because it's what it is.
So there you have it.
The top five excuses that we can really take a look and examine a little bit more from an open mind and an open heart and realize that they could be coming from a very, very conditioned place inside ourselves, but they don't have to stop us from taking inspired action.
It's about what you want to believe moving forward about yourself and your life matters more than anything.
Maybe if one of these excuses hits home and has come up for you, maybe that's also the sign that it is time to address it, to shift your mindset, and maybe it is even the sign that that next level of you is really calling you in.
So if you are super curious and you want to jump in and jump over that shadow and over any excuses that have been looming in your head, then go and visit mombossesabroad.com.
Gift yourself 30 minutes to listen to my story and Iva's story and how together we are building what we're building alongside our children and to show them what's possible and to set them up for legacy as well.
If you found value, inspiration, or a nugget of wisdom in any part of our conversation, we would be so grateful if you could take a moment to show your support.
Leave a rating and review and share this podcast with another mom.
Remember, your feedback fuels our passion to continue delivering meaningful content that uplifts and empowers mom bosses around the globe.
Until next time, keep being the amazing mom that you are.
Important Links:
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Hey, Mama! 🌟 If you’ve been looking for a way to make an impact in health, create long-term wealth for your family, and design a freedom lifestyle—while being part of an amazing, supportive community—then listen up!
We’ve found a business model that’s not just about making money, but about doing soulful work that’s truly aligned with who you are. No more burnout, no more trading time for money—just a powerful, proven way to create real change for yourself and others.
If this speaks to you, head over to https://www.oilyessentialsfamily.com/mombossesabroad-webinar and watch a quick 30-minute video that could completely shift your perspective on what’s possible for your future.
Because, Mama, you deserve freedom, abundance, and purpose—let’s create it together! https://www.oilyessentialsfamily.com/mombossesabroad-webinar
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