TRANSCRIPT
Mompreneur Chronicles | Crafting a Blend of Life, Business, and Dreams
Iva 0:51
Hi and welcome to a new episode of the Mom Bosses Abroad podcast. We are kicking off season four and I am here with my business bestie Desiree Gonzalez and this episode is all about that other facet that encompasses us and it's also part of the whole ethos of this podcast which is the bosses role that is this hat of being in charge of our own financial destiny in a certain way by wanting to share our gifts and talents with the world and doing our own business as we are traveling all around the globe, maybe moving from time to time and raising our loved ones.
Desiree 1:28
Yes, I think that's what makes us special or unique is that we wear so many hats and I think our three pillars that you already know from the name Mom Bosses Abroad is really that we're moms_ so last week, we talked all about motherhood on our terms, and this week we're going to touch on exactly the bosses aspect because we're doing this alongside. We have so many roles that we are currently in and we're doing all of that while being abroad but that we will save for next week. So maybe why don't we share a little bit about how did you even get into becoming a mompreneur? Why did you say I'm gonna give myself the boss title other than being the boss at home?
Iva 2:09
Well, I want to say that I actively chose it and pursued it but that's not really what happened. I think it was more Destiny, opening up the door for me and a little bit like forcing me through the door in a way because I used to be doing the corporate life. I used to work for multinational companies. And I was I was very good at what I did. And I could do my job and do it super efficiently and to the best of my abilities. And so I never felt at odds in that space of being a working mom. But then it ended up being that it had to be the trailing spouse, because we got an opportunity here in Asia. It was Hong Kong. And so that meant having to quit my job to come to this part of the world that I had no clue about. I just knew that it was exciting and exotic and I couldn't wait because I have that adventurous spirit. But then you know as it turns out, usually the male spouses or the husbands, they just jump straight into what they need to do right. They're just like, Okay, I'm off. I'm off to the office. And there I was trying to navigate the whole side of settling everybody in, understanding how everything worked from the supermarkets to the schools, to housing to navigating, you know, addresses locations, what have you. And then different languages, cultures, traditions, everything in the mix. And so yes, for a while I was just navigating that with the kids and making sure that they were thriving, that they were settled, that everybody was already you know more into this new rhythm of life. And then I started to realize that as much as I love being with my kids, as much as I love spending time with them and being in that space of being at home, there was like this inner urge that started to grow stronger and stronger. And I said, but I also want to use my gifts and talents, whatever those happen to be at this moment with the world and with other moms that might be in my same space. And that space was I love this new adventure. And I love the fact that there's like a blank page in front of me. But what is it that it looks like for me within this identity of me working? And I knew straight away that it was not going to be through another regular type of job like the regular nine to five. I knew as much. So for me it was sort of like the only option was okay, and then what can I do on my own? How can I start something in that realm and I knew that I wanted to work with moms, I knew that it was in the space of moms and families. I knew that it was it was about helping them and support them in a way and highlighting all these insecurities, doubts and fears, this patterns of behavior that I was noticing in me that I was still trying to understand and manage and so that's literally a little how I came into the space and I think we also got to meet around that time. Yeah, so so we got to meet and then we started to have like these really powerful conversations until we said okay, let's hit record, and let's make a podcast out of it. But then we also started to explore the business aspect together and finding joint ventures and collaborations and so that, for me was the most telling part that really lit up my soul_ finding a kindred spirit like you_a business bestie and knowing that we could talk and it was almost like being bilingual, like we could talk business and motherhood at the same time and switch back and forth with so much ease. Sometimes you have friendships that are just moms right. I'm not saying just mom in a bad way I'm just saying that that's what their sphere is all about and you really get to learn a lot about them and they're like fully on board with the recipes and you know what are the right toys for the right age and like they have that whole universe pat down. But with you I found that there's this dynamic of the expensing of other spheres and the sphere of business was very, very important to me, like I feel you've activated me and so I love that and I knew that it was the mom and business at the same time. You know? So that is my my side of things. But now I ask you as well. How did this business journey start for you?
Desiree 5:57
Yeah, I think in a lot of ways similar but also very different. For me. I also came out of the corporate world, the hotel industry and for us we have been expatriates for many, many years. And this is sort of where we met a lot our way along our journeys. And it was very hard even to move together because I had my job, my now husband had his job and it was difficult to move together. So we realized that at that point the change had to happen even before kids that someone has to change, someone has to step back. So I said okay, I'm going to quit and I'll just do something else. I knew I wanted to do something else. I didn't just want to be you know that the trailing spouse in a way I didn't have children. So I was like I need to do something. So I incorporated a company and it all came out of it. I need to do that. This is what's expected of me this is what people will think is the right thing to do. So I was trying to go with the flow of society. And on my side I had things I became passionate about because I finally had time for them. And then we had our first child and I realized all the things I'm doing don't have so much time for this client calls anymore to sit down and block at a time and concentrate in parallel. My business was my hobby. And so the long story of all boils into the fact that I've made my hobby my business because it's like I'm doing it anyways. I saw accidental revenue coming in from my hobby, which was really interesting. And I said, You know what, why don't I do that? Because it literally started from that. So it's something I can incorporate my children with. I can stare at it as I want. I am my own boss. And then we found this beautiful biz bestie in you and then we met as well. And we're like, Well, we are mompreneurs and I think it was in a conversation with you that I first said that out loud. Or we started using that word, mompreneur. And we're like, okay, what is that actually? So the real definition is actually that it's a female business owner who actively balances the roles of a mother and an entrepreneur. And I think at one point we laughed a little as well because when I checked balance I thought: Yeah, right. Oh, that's so funny. How can you because there's days when your child is just taking over life, you have no space and room to do anything else. And there's other days where you really can't squeeze in a good amount of work, you know, organically and that's I think where our whole notion of harmony came from, as well as I'm also laughing a little bit about that definition. So I think you know, we may just need to redefine that for all the mompreneurs out there don't we?
Iva 8:44
I love that you started off with that you started off with the whole balance, this like work-life balance thing that we need to just shake off and definitely discard because it does put a lot of pressure, it does put a lot of you know, scoring and Keeping score. You know, how much is perfect balance? So, that is one thing that you and I have discovered along the way is this concept of harmony definitely when it comes to raising little ones and also growing a business because the business is a bit like a like a digital baby.
Desiree 9:16
Digital baby I like that a lot. I like that. It's true because with this role like you know I think like our question to each other was Why did we start when we started? Why did we become mompreneurs? Well, first of all, I said I need to do something else. I love being a mom but I also need to do I want to do something else for myself right? Like here's my husband nothing changes for them. They still go to work. The office may be different. The country may be different, but they're doing their job. They're doing their role. They're chasing their KPIs and their goals and their dreams. And we have our life has shifted totally 180 And yes, now we have goals and dreams for our children. But I'm like, wait a second, I want to keep chasing my own goals and my own dreams. I want to strive for financial freedom. Location freedom, I want to make my own choices. I don't want to be fully dependent on my husband because you know, I'm my own person and you know, I want that for myself. And another thing is as well we want to be this role models for our kids as well and don't we have like what we do and you know we love helping people, we love sharing our gifts with the world and in the end as much as motherhood fulfills us. I think we need that part and I speak on behalf of both of us. I think that we need that in our life, the fulfillment, sharing these gifts with the world and being there for other moms. And I think that's sort of the role, but I love that you oh my god, the digital baby the virtual baby. I love that. And it's crazy, isn't it? Because having a baby is already a 24/7 job you don't get a break. And sometimes I asked myself why in the world would we take up another 24/7 thing on top of that motherlode because entrepreneurship as much as we say, location, freedom, time freedom, financial freedom. We're going from like a nine to five into a 24/7 aren't we've?
Iva 10:49
Yes, that is a very popular meme that runs around saying you know, I quit my nine to five to become an entrepreneur and now I'm working 24/7. And why would we want to do that? And I feel that definitely there is. I always say it I say you know being an entrepreneur and being a mother and raising a family at the same time. It requires like a different type of breed. It's just like we tick just very differently and there might be a few things that are at play. And it has to do with, as you said, first of all that pursuing an identity outside of the other labels that there is something that we want to have to our name but only to our name, right? Like it might sound a bit selfish, but it has this sense of I want this identity to be just about me and what lights me up and what I believe in and what is the sphere where I can play in without having to seek more compromise and depend on or be at the mercy in some cases of external factors or even someone's personality. You know, when it comes to our kids, we don't know their temperaments. We weren't you know, we don't know how they will tick_ if they will be very good with naptime or not. Right? There's so many variables, moving pieces, but in this business, it's like we can truly be in control of that, to the degree that we're willing to just, you know, show up and do what we need to do. But also there's this sense of we love our children so much and we want to watch them grow up and we want to be able to be there for those important milestones. We don't want to miss out as much as we possibly can and so having our own time schedule allows us to, to work around that because here's the thing, we want a business that runs around our life and not the other way around. Otherwise, we would go into more the traditional job structure right?
Desiree 12:30
Yes, I can stop you there. Can I ask you, do you think that we are really in control? Are we really our own boss? As working moms?
Iva 12:38
Well, I feel that I am if you if you ask me, in the sense that you get to make more self-sovereign decisions about how to handle the things that come up for you. And yes, obviously you do consult with your spouse in certain moments, right, like certain calls or certain times and you have to find a little bit like, Okay, you cover for me in a way, but not really because also, you know, our spouses also have their share of the child rearing so it cannot all fall on us. Right? Yeah, as much as as they also get to do what they need to do in terms of gaining control. I think that's a very interesting concept and I would love to hear your take on it because sometimes we feel that control has to do with having much more effort and willpower into the equation. And I think that you and I have discovered that there's other ways to show up and to do this business thing alongside the motherhood rules. Because the self-employed usually tend to have a terrible boss, right? When we go in for the first time, and we say, Oh, I'm going to do my own thing. You realize very quickly that you know, you can be your own boss, but you can also be very demanding of yourself and very critical and push yourself a lot in those beginning stages. And so one of the things that I have discovered that I think that you and I have been alongside on similar paths, and that's why we share so many things that go into that category is that I have seen how the first and the third year of starting a business what tends to happen is that most of us have moments where we feel stuck, like we're not making significant inroads, we're working it feels like we're working 24/7 and we're like, I cannot add more time to the day like what is going on? Or we might be feeling uninspired because I'm not really meant to be doing this right. Like we feel like we're failing at raising this baby, this virtual baby, it doesn't seem to be growing the way we want it. And we're puzzled about why does it feel so hard to have the milestones that you're looking to have when you start the business? And for me, this has been an understanding of seeing that, in this 1, 2, or 3 year mark, we are in what I have found to call the crossing, which is that space between the metaphysical, you know, the airy, light space of inspiration and ideas. You know, it's like when you and I started, and we said: Hey, we should just hit record. How hard can it be? We just recorded conversations and we have a podcast, but then there's the physical reality, you know, this 3-d world that operates under other rules, which are more like cause and effect. And so how you're able to navigate that is key and it has a lot to do with, you know, going into the realm of using more energetics into putting in some sort of clear intentions and keeping a vibe around it, and simplifying it, right. You're the queen of our automations and simplifying things to the point that it's all pretty much on autopilot. And that is the true business that I believe most of us who are here listening and most of us who resonate with this really are striving for like we're not going for a business that feels heavy, and like obligation and it's like, very rigid. We want a business that is fun. We want a business that allows us to have free time. We want a business that we can, you know accommodate depending on the season of life that we're in, but when a business that obviously makes money like it has profits right, but it doesn't have to require that working and hustling and grinding and just hustle, grind, repeat.
Desiree 15:48
Yeah, yes. Oh, when I asked that question Do you think we're really in control of it? I think I just came out of a day yesterday you know where like at one point you're so proud, Oh, I have my own business. You know, I'm in control of it and then comes your little child and takes away that control. You know that everything that you set out to do and that's why it made me smile when you know you were saying these things and I'm like, Yeah, we do have like a different type of boss now don't we? Like literally your little toddler just dictates what you can or cannot do so that's why like don't even say I don't think I haven't controlled today. I had one of those. However, I feel they are definitely holding the reins about how much you can do. And I think it was like, it's where a lot of my frustration came at the beginning. Because the way we already have an entrepreneurial mind. We have so many ideas we have so many things we want to do so much brewing in our brain even as I'm showering the kids I'm like, oh, I could do this and there's a constant concentration in my head right like ah, but I feel I don't have time to sit down and put these things out onto a paper to realize all that I want to do so a lot of frustration comes in I don't know if there's other mompreneurs out there who feel that as well.
Iva 16:50
You know, it's as we were saying in the first episode: it's an unlearning of those masculine models of running a business and foremost, the frustration I can really resonate with that as well because I feel it too. Yesterday my daughter was home because she wasn't feeling well and that really threw me for a loop because I had a long list of to-do’s that I was needing to finish in a very quiet environment. And now she was there and she wanted to play and she wanted to do this. She had the sniffles, but she didn't want to go to school. She said that she didn't feel well and I had to honor that. But I knew that she was fine. I know that's kind of hard. Right? So they are so fine that they are like look at me play with me. Be with me and all of this entertain me now. You know and so I have discovered that our concept of time has to be more emotional than when we started. We cannot be looking at the clock, because then we're really going to start breathing very heavily and we're gonna be like it's already it's already this time right and look at that I still haven't done this or that and now it's September now and the day is over and I will look at everything that was left undone. So this is something that we're going to dive much deeper you know this is just like very introductory conversation about it but we are definitely the next coming episodes we are going to be going into that and helping other mompreneurs understand that when you have these mindset shifts about the concept of time, how emotional time can be and how you can, you know, switch things around so that you are able to appreciate them from a different perspective, you automatically calm down that part of you that is the “Okay, let's go I'm ready. Why aren't we there yet?” But there is a way, there's a way there's a way to do it. And one of the things that I believe it's important to share today with you mama who's listening to us right now is that Desiree and I are here to share our gifts and talents with the world as well. Right and part of this podcast is to really spread the word and to really let you know that first of all entrepreneurship is a long game. So having your long vision glasses on is really important. We tend to see it in the day to day and we tend to see it within a 24 hour frame like what I was able to do versus what I wasn't able to do. But that is not playing the long game. Are you planning to really share your gifts and talents and to pursue your passion for decades on end? Like do you want to perfect your craft? Do you really want to just you know, be doing this because you believe in the purpose that is serving humanity and globally? Because if that is a clear, yes, then no matter what, no matter how many sick days, no matter you know, no matter where or what’s thrown at you you're going to be able to say: but I’m here and it's a long game. And I know that I’m playing for keeps. So that's essentially it. And the other thing that we're also going to be diving much deeper is this whole concept of goals. And what I have come to understand that are our own internal promises because they're different things. Like we have goals and sometimes we get them, sometimes we don't reach them. Sometimes we come very, very close and it’s frustrating because we're almost there. Right? And they are this arbitrary line in the sand that we ourselves are throwing in because there's this metric, right? For whatever reason we chose that one but it could have been a different one. But it's very different from keeping a promise to yourself. A promise is more encompassing. If you think about it a goal is like Am I hitting my target for the quarter? Yeah, that is a goal right? Am I able to launch this masterclass within the timeframe that I said I was going to with a defined launch day? That is a goal. But a promise am I having a business that revolves around my personal life? Am I having fun along the way? Am I showing up fully and excited about it as much as I possibly can? Like those are promises because you're like, Am I really keeping that or not? And so you see, it's not so constrained? It's more like it's a promise
Desiree 20:15
Absolutely. And I think what I really learned, so if I would have had a day like yesterday, right a few years ago, I would have been frustrated so much I've learned over the years especially to working with Iva and working together is to work in the flow, to be in the flow. Flow is a very very big part of me now and my business in the way I do things and it all ties in with being in harmony and all of that but working in flow and understanding that we just have to be flexible and a few more trick that I want to throw in as well that we need to have as mompreneurs is perseverance, right like identity play into of course the long game and the long vision and consistency as well just be consistent, even whatever that is in your definition. But I think that will help just keep the energy of the flow going and I think you know, especially I mean, you've said it all so beautifully, that that vision that we have the ideas and what we want to achieve. It's so powerful. And I think again, being a mompreneur and being our own boss is also understanding the power of letting go when we need to. Our children are the priority. That's it. This is this is our main priority, right? But so we have the power of letting go a little bit of the business side when we need to because we have the power of making that decision for ourselves because everyone again defines their level of harmony, very different in terms of children and family and business or whatever it is in your definition. And then we also have the power of putting the pen down one day. The power of choice, because that's something we don't have in a traditional business. We don't have the choices that we wish we had because there's someone controlling that but now we are able to make the rules again in your own definition, and we have the power to take a summer off if the kids are on a very, very long, almost three-month break. We have the power now to take a summer off and that's my also one of the things I'm going to add on our list. What we're going to dive a lot into is like the power of automation as well as a mompreneur you know having some things running on autopilot so you can stand in that power. And you know, also put what we do is we share our gifts with others. We don't make up an online business. We don't make it up but we've taken what we have like my hobby turned into my passion business, your gift, your true gift turned into your business as well. And we are documenting our ways to helping others and at the same time making money with it. And I think it's a beautiful circle that we've created a sphere not a sphere- a cycle. Sustaining cycle to provide perspective. It helps a lot when we are able to regard our business_
Iva 22:35
In this case, can we see our business as a rubber ball? And we talked about this in the past, you know there are glass balls in our lives and then rubber balls. And the glass balls are the ones that if you drop them they break, right? Yes, health, family our children, right. Those are glass balls. A relationship with our spouses or you know, any relationship that is important. That tends to be a glass ball, but the rest is a rubber ball. And so if we do our business and the work that we're doing, yes, we believe in what we're doing, you know that we are helping others. I know that I'm helping women achieve powerful transformations and if they're able to come back in a better version of themselves to their family. I know that this domino effect is just amazing. And I it's very profound. But the work that I do is still a rubber ball in my life and so it can bounce back. If I drop it for whatever reason it can bounce back and I guess that's what you're saying Des as well. You know, during the summer or during the holiday, if you need to drop that ball, it will bounce back, because again, we're doing the long game on this as well. So we know that we're not going to disappear for an endless holiday, you know, the holiday will come to an end. We will get back to September 18. And we can pick up where we left off. But a glass ball is very different, you know, missing out on a child's birthday. It doesn't come back, we don't get that back. We don't get that event that you know to watch them in their milestones. So just keeping that into perspective helps a lot because it eases that sense of frustration because we have a to-do list in front of us on any given day. But yeah, these are the topics and these are the conversations and of course we're gonna get more hands on. Don't worry, this is not all just philosophical stuff. We are going to get into you know, the how of certain things like Desiree said, you know, step by step. The steps like exactly, you know, what are some things that can help you define that message that you want to put out there. So, so many things. So we're so excited that we're coming into the season, as being more seasoned entrepreneurs as well or mompreneurs if you want to put it more specifically like we have already navigated quite a few years of business, and we can see some markers step up and what are the things that we have been able to do to navigate them to be coming out on the other side, feeling proud of ourselves, as well as gaining more confidence as we go along and understanding that we can look back and say like, oh my God, that was a challenging period, but I grew so much, I learned so much. And it ended up being fun in a certain way, right? Because we will also be talking about the importance of having a support system, a tribe or a business bestie that is so powerful in helping you stay focused, stay in your lane or just to remind you to breathe and sometimes that's what we need: other women out there to help us, to have that support or that encouragement and so absolutely yes step into your boss role, into your boss's shoes, confidently knowing that there are always markers, that you will always have signposts that come in different ways and we really hope that this podcast is one of those markers that helped you realize how far you've come along and how much fun there is still to be had looking into the future and looking forward to that. So yes, this is this is the Boss vibe that we are bringing in.
Desiree 25:46
Exactly and whatever happens know you're not alone. We're here we're cheering you on, and you are doing amazing.
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