TRANSCRIPT
Thriving Together | The Power of Business Besties in Mompreneurship
I am Iva Perez, and I am here with my business bestie and podcast co-host Desiree Gonzalez.
Hi, Des.
Hi, I am back.
We are back at our happy place.
This is seriously, it's the best way to start, start the day for me.
Yes, yes, in the recording studio, talking about so many incredibly important and insightful things.
And we are definitely vibing with this energy of the series that we have been putting together all these previous episodes about, obviously, the whole aspect of mompreneurship, about mindset, about expanding capacity to receive money, all of the things.
But one thing that we have to really land as well for ourselves, but also in the sense of what we want to achieve is that we as mompreneurs and as entrepreneurs, we don't really have a boss as such, right?
But there is also a saying that too often the self-employed have a terrible boss, because it's like when we start off, we say, okay, looking around, I have really no one to blame any longer for the pressure that I feel, but myself.
And so as we're setting out to really crystallize the goals that we have, the intentions that we have set up for the year, if we are in the resolutions and intentions team, there's one critical aspect that we do need when we're working in this mompreneurship silo, which is someone by our side.
And that is what this episode is all about.
Yes, absolutely.
I mean, unless we no longer have a certain goal or the KPI or something that we would have from back in our corporate world, right?
Unless, of course, we set them for ourselves, which if we do start a business, we do have an end goal in mind, right?
And even for a passion business.
But we have to be, we have to make sure we just set these goals for ourselves, whether it's financial goals or other achievements.
And we need to define them and just put them in a plan, work backwards to a place.
But it may always be difficult to achieve because exactly like you said, we don't have anyone to blame, or we don't have anyone to hold accountable except ourselves, right?
So that makes that sort of journey of entrepreneurship often very, very lonely, I feel.
At the beginning, I felt that way because I was, I was used to being surrounded by a big team, you know, and everything, lots of people and talking ideas through, and even just brain dumping things or like discussing, and so much clarity comes with discussion.
But when you're working with yourself, it's like, yes, I have a lot of monologues with myself, of course, in my head, but it's often once unless it comes out, it's very difficult to gain clarity.
I know that's how I feel, at least.
And it is a very familiar space for all of us.
And I also felt that way, true, at the beginning, where it was me, myself and I, even though I have the most supportive partner that I could have ever wished or asked for.
And he, you know, my husband is my biggest cheerleader.
He's always asking how things are going, what's going on.
And he really is very interested in seeing me accomplish my goals or do the things that I set out to do, and he encourages me and all of that.
And I do have the love of my children, right?
They do provide that space where even if things are going haywire, they give you that kiss, they give you that hug, and they say, I love you, Mommy, I made you this drawing.
And it feels incredible.
But there is this missing type of space, or at least that was how it felt at the beginning before I met you, that it was a missing piece of the puzzle.
Like there was this vacant space that couldn't be filled up by anyone in my immediate circle, any one of my loved ones.
Like even if you have a very close-knit family and really close friends, there's a space that they don't seem to be able to really comprehend to dimension in its full extension.
That's a little bit what I'm trying to get at.
And sometimes there is that person that is also going on their own journey that has been fighting in the trenches, in very similar trenches to you, that can really identify and resonate and connect with it in such a visceral way, in the sense that you talk and you get it.
I don't have to justify it or explain it to too much detail.
They're just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been there.
It feels exactly the same, where I went exactly through that same thing.
And that comes with this accountability, body accountability partner, this business bestie.
And we have started to call each other business besties because that's what it feels like.
It's not that we are on top of, did you do this?
Did you do that?
Or what happened to this?
What happened to that in this very stern?
What have you done?
Let me judge you based on your performance type of way.
But it's more someone that is in the perimeter of what we're doing.
And you have a very good vantage point because you provide that external awareness that we sometimes tend to lose when we are in the middle of things.
Do you feel that that's a little bit sometimes what happens?
Like we're so in the middle of things that we don't dimension it anymore.
Absolutely.
I mean, how many times have I called you up to say, okay, Iva, listen, I have this idea in my head and I need to just run it past someone.
And you can run it past several people in your life, like you said, but they're not in the same or in a similar perimeter, in a same position.
And even though, so to clarify in a way, we call each other business besties because obviously we have common things we're working on.
We have the podcast, we have special projects, right?
And things that we're doing together, which doesn't, with an accountability partner, doesn't have to be the case, right?
They can be just there.
You don't have any commonalities in terms of work, but you're still talking to someone, someone who gets you, someone who cheers you on, someone you can run past things, right?
So I feel in you, I definitely found the best of both worlds because you're both to me, absolutely.
But really, exactly, we have a very specific niche, right?
So it depends where you are at in your journey, but we are moms of two little ones.
They have similar ages.
They're not the exact same ages, but they're similar.
We are both living abroad.
We're both in Asia.
We're away from our families.
We started our businesses right around the same time.
So it's also our journey.
And it doesn't always have to be the same speed because, again, seasons of life and everything that we're embracing, right?
But again, that also comes into play.
We get those seasons in life because one of us has been through it as well.
But we're moving at a similar, like also speed, not always speed, but we've just started at similar times.
So all of that.
Exactly.
So all of that makes it so easy.
Like you said, I run something past you.
I don't have to give you the whole history.
I don't have to go back 300 steps for you to get what I want to get across.
Right?
You just get it.
I can just go.
It's efficient as well.
And it's just amazing.
And also some like, it's very important though, that we also find someone with honesty that you're like, Des, you know what?
Sounds good.
But in reality, I'm not sure.
Like someone who gives you constructive feedback or opinions and everything, you know.
I think it's super important to surround yourself with someone like that in your life.
Yes.
And this is something that also we can extrapolate and take out of the whole mompreneurship type of journey.
Because when you also think about an accountability partner, it doesn't only have to be because you're in business for yourself or you're creating a project that's your passion project or you want to go into this type of venture or this other type of business as such.
But it can also be someone that is an accountability partner for other areas of your life.
If fitness being a fitness goal that you have is something that you want someone to be there with you on that journey, you can have an accountability partner for that.
For certain habits that you want to either ditch or embrace, you can have that accountability partner.
And sometimes the good thing or the benefits that I have noticed in having people like that in our life in a very informal way, because accountability partners are very informal in the sense that you're not necessarily paying them.
It's not this contract that you're drafting between each other, and it's a very contractual type of setup, right?
Like, oh, we're going to sign here and there.
It's very informal.
It's very, as you say, the person can be in a similar orbit or in a very similar path.
And so it complements one another what you're trying to achieve, and just the presence of that person is going to continue to ignite you past the initial stages of that initial burst of inspiration or motivation that we might feel because, and we have covered this already in the previous episodes of the series, right?
There's this energy that we come into at the beginning of things, but then it sort of starts losing its sparkle down the line because things are starting to become more real.
And during those times, having someone that is also walking that path to some extent with you can provide you that second burst of energy or motivation to say, oh my god, I can't give up now, right?
Like, I have already started, this person is already there, I don't want to let them down, but it's not external.
I think that's the flavor that I'm looking for in describing this accountability partner is that you don't have a person that is going to be disappointed in you and is going to stop being friends with you, if you feel that you're failing or not doing it the way that you want to, because it's all in our head, right?
And that's why we started off with this, you know, as an entrepreneur, sometimes we are our worst boss, because the things that we say to ourselves, the conversations that we have, or the metrics that we use, they can be very harsh sometimes, or very critical.
And then this person provides this buffer or this echo chamber where they're like, oh my god, what are you talking about?
I don't see it that way.
I don't think about it that way.
Why don't you see it this way?
Why don't you conceive it in that you're actually have improved or this has actually moved forward for you?
And so that's where this accountability pointer can be very, very valuable.
And taking it a step further as well, I mean, accountability partner, business partner, right, business bestie, but also then moving into like, get yourself even like a business coach or a therapist, right?
Someone that is going to be in your corner, in your corner in the way of expanding.
We're in this theme also from last episode, right?
This expanding capacities.
What are you capable of in your journey, on your business, in your life, like in motherhood?
It can be like a coach, a life coach in so many facets, right, of your life.
It can be a therapist.
Often therapy is regarded and, oh, therapy is only when I need it, when something is negative in your life.
Not at all.
I think everyone needs therapy in some form or another, right, to help uncover things inside of you.
But because we are, again, we are mompreneurs that have multiple passions.
First of all, we have multiple things already.
We're moms, we're working, we are living abroad.
That's already a lot in itself.
But in our business, we also have multiple passions, right?
And it's sometimes we don't even know the things we're capable of or aware of.
So it's really important to surround yourself with people who can help unravel your creative genius even more.
Yes.
And besides unraveling that creative genius, which is exactly what we are striving for, we want to be coming at all the dimensions of our lives from this zone of genius, from where it feels effortless, where it feels like our natural talents and gifts are being put in the best usage of our time, of the way that we are expressing them and all of that.
And also this people, whether it's the accountability partner, the business partner or business coach or therapist, what happens is that we tend to have blind spots.
It's not that you're going to a therapist, perhaps because this is the example that people probably have more resistance with because they say, well, I don't have any major trauma in my life.
Why should I go?
But at the end of the day, we all do have blind spots.
And we don't see them because they are blind spots.
Exactly.
It comes in the word itself.
If they were not blind spots and we would be able to see them, then they wouldn't be called blind spots.
And we wouldn't be having this conversation.
But we do have blind spots because we are so sometimes in the middle of it.
Because sometimes our own paradigms, our own way of approaching things, doesn't they mention that there's other possible ways or that someone is doing it different and that that different can work also for us as inspiration or as a template or blueprint that we can try out.
And lo and behold, it ends up working as well.
So that is the beauty of the people that can come in in that capacity to help you understand or see those possible blind spots that we don't even know are there.
But when they point them out, not in the finger pointing, there's your blind spot.
This is why it hasn't been working.
But sometimes in the interaction itself, we get to realize, Oh my God, yes, it's true.
I hadn't seen it that way.
Have you ever been in that situation where you say, Oh, I hadn't seen it that way.
You're right.
Totally.
It's like a different perspective, right?
Like a different perspective.
And I don't know if it also happens to you, but this is also why sometimes even if you have a really great supportive partner by your side, your spouse specifically, and have you noticed that sometimes it happens more the other way around?
So you are trying to get them to see something that you can already see about a situation that they're going through or something about themselves, right?
But then they talk to someone, the neighbor in passing, whoever it is, like this random person that they barely interact with.
And then they come home and they say, Hey, I just realized this.
And it's exactly what you've been trying to point out or say or tell them.
And this person out of the blue, it just clicked for them.
And we say, wait a second, why are they getting all the credit?
I have been the one trying to steer you into looking at it that way or in this fashion.
But so that is, I think, one of the powerful things is that sometimes people around us can be so more objective and detached, or we feel that, I don't know, it just resonates in a way that doesn't possibly come with other perhaps, I don't want to say layers to it, but when you have a partner that's your spouse, your husband, you share so many things in so many ways, in so many different categories and facets, and this person just is coming in for just that one particular, I don't know, comment or in that one particular topic of conversation, and it just clicks.
Exactly.
It is like that.
Sometimes it can be very annoying, but it is as well.
It depends.
Sometimes our mind chooses as well who we listen to for specific circumstances.
And even though the message may be exactly the same, it is said maybe slightly different or like, yeah, by a different person.
And it's incredible.
That's why it's important just to talk to several people, to have maybe more than one person that you're talking to about things, because everyone offers different perspectives.
And we're also trying to serve a certain niche.
But everyone hears and sees things slightly different.
So it's also important to embrace that and to try to speak to them so they all listen.
Not everyone will always listen, but just to try our best.
But why I also love having a coach or someone, someone pretty much that's gone before you is they have already the prior experience, the knowledge, the blueprints.
You can learn from their mistakes.
You can supercharge your journey a little bit by maybe going around, like eliminating the mistakes that maybe they have made in the journey, and they've learned now they're teaching you.
So it's always good to have people who have just that little bit more experience than you to learn from them.
And to go further and faster.
And then definitely part of, I know we're both part of like different masterminds or different groups.
And it's also really interesting because there we can also again share with different people about our journey or about a project or something and challenge each other.
Again, in a way where we're able to reach our full potential or just really expand the capacity that we thought we were holding, but we know there's so much more.
So like increasing that potential.
And a really beautiful thing is as well that we often then come back to each other and we share with each other what we've learned.
It's like double double wins, you know, because I was like, Oh, Eva, I learned that this and this and this and you're like, Oh, yeah, that's that's really great.
You know, and then you tell me the same thing from your side.
And so we're learning from other people and then again, sharing with each other and soaking up so much wisdom and knowledge that we are able to just move in a more coherent and faster way than ever than if we were doing it on our own.
Talking to no one, locked in our home office.
Well, it is so, I mean, you touched on so many important considerations right there.
And there is a reason for why you're sharing this and why you have seen the incredible uplift and positive changes or the positive, the benefits that you have gotten from being part, as you say, of a mastermind, of having that accountability partner, of having a coach and understanding that they are a couple of steps ahead and they can show you what to be aware of, what to avoid all together so that you're not wasting more time and energy on it.
And I do feel that we, as a species, also, as the human race that we are, we were never meant to be going at things alone.
We're always part of this social circle, social tribe, so it's always a community around us, because it was, I don't think nature designed us to be just on our own.
So when we are setting out to run our business, to pursue our passion projects, to really go down this avenue of, okay, it's going to be me, myself and I at the beginning for a little bit, yes, because I am putting this together, but it doesn't have to be you in the silo, in this empty echo chamber, where there's no one else in there because it's part of being a community or building your own community.
It doesn't have to be a large group.
It can be chosen actors and people that you're bringing into your life specifically because they uplift you and they put fun in your day.
For me, fun is one of my biggest values in my life.
I have to enjoy not only achieving the thing and getting there, but did I have fun along the way?
That comes with having the right people that motivate you, that inspire you.
And I would use, obviously, we have to be a little bit choosy, I would say.
I would go down that route.
At the beginning, we just want people.
Sometimes the process looks like this.
You're alone, and then you just want people.
You just want someone that can empathize and sympathize and sort of gets it, and you're like, yes, you come over here.
But then as you move along, I feel that we become to discern a little bit more or to know what we're looking for because we want in some way the results that that person has.
You wouldn't take on a business coach that is not really achieving or having that thing that you are hiring them for, right?
Or with business partners as well.
Sometimes we say, oh, the deal is that we really are in sync, like that we're so similar and we both like the same things.
But sometimes with a business partner, the direction is do we complement each other?
Do their strengths play into our weaknesses?
And I think with you and I, for example, using the podcast as an example, why this podcast has grown to where it is nowadays, why we're already in season four, is because your strengths play into my weaknesses and vice versa, we complement each other.
But if we were both the ones that say, oh, I just want to do this aspect of the podcast, right, of the whole of this, then who's going to do the rest?
Or how do we get all the parts working seamlessly together?
So those are considerations to have as well, you know, depending on who is that person coming into your life and for what?
100%, 100%.
I wanted to also mention that at the beginning.
And then you said it so beautifully.
It's find someone that complements you.
It's actually good we're not the same, because we wouldn't be where we are now if exactly we were the same.
We wanted to just do the things the same way.
But we often challenge each other.
We have discussions about, shall we go more this direction, this reaction?
We always so beautifully come to a consensus that just works, which is the foundation that we continue having fun.
We never get into any like, oh, but I don't want it.
No, I think that's the beauty between us.
But we are discussing things and see, again, making each other see things from different perspectives and be like, oh, yeah, yeah, you're right.
You're right.
That is actually better that way, you know, because we are able to do that.
We bounce off each other's strengths, each other's energies so much, so much.
And we have number one rule.
We shared it many times that we said at the beginning, we're only going to do this as long as we're having fun.
And we check in with each other.
I mean, actually, we don't actually have to formally check in with each other because we notice if we're having fun or not, right?
And it's one thing when my little girl was born, gosh, two years ago, more than two years ago now, you asked me, Zac Des, if you want to take a break, we can.
If you want to just break here and then we'll pick up again, or if you feel like it doesn't fit anymore, because newborns or the whole postpartum stage can be a handful.
And I was like, Iva, you know what?
I want to give up.
I will slow down and other things, but I don't want to drop this because this is definitely what fuels me.
I need this for me and I need us together.
And I love us working together.
And that's what gives me the energy for everything else that I'm doing.
So we need to, like you said, we need to pick and choose.
We need to make these decisions.
Yeah.
And you know, also sometimes because we are Mom Bosses living abroad, we sometimes think that we're limited to the pool of people that is geographically in the same location as us.
Like it has to be a fully in-person, all the way type of situation.
And I think that what we have gone through, you know, with the pandemic, but also in this globalized world that we live in, that is not necessarily the case.
So our pool can expand even further into, you know, this can be people that you don't necessarily interact in person all the time.
Or in our case, we didn't even get to meet each other until a few years into all the collaborations, the friendship, the projects that we were in, but it worked.
And so let's not discard the fact that virtually, we can also make a lot of magic happen.
Like virtually, we can also feel that energy from that person, and it can still touch us and we can still touch them.
And proof of that is, for example, this podcast has been grown solely on a very organic strategy.
You know, it's very organic all the way into everything that we do, and people can feel into that when they listen to the episodes.
They know that we are, you know, we're coming from this very organic place, and whoever resonates with that and enjoys it is part of this tribe, part of this community, and that is what we're aiming for.
So don't discard, I guess, one of the things that I'm trying to get at is that, let's not discard the fact that, oh, because I have never met this person in person, that it cannot happen, that we cannot really achieve great and amazing things together, because proof of that is us.
And I love that we have this story to really showcase, because the world that we live in means that sometimes you can meet the person, or this particular someone in person, but then you move, or that person moves.
And then you're back to the same situation where it has to be then long distance.
Yeah, I mean, there is being an expatriate and moving every couple of years to different countries, right?
We know exactly, we have friends, we make friends, we form these relationships, but we know when one of us moves and we're no longer together, eventually that friendship will sort of kindle away, right?
It will kind of disappear over time.
But there are some where, you know, distance will never be an issue.
We will be staying together and connected.
And we also have such beautiful examples of our friends, right?
Like in life that no matter if we've moved, we always remain friends and sometimes the bond even gets deeper.
So like you said, there's absolutely no hurdle.
Yeah, I think it's so important to have people that just cheer you on overall.
I mean, I was thinking the other day, that's why motherhood is so hard sometimes, as beautiful as it is and rewarding as it is, it's also so hard because it can be lonely because no one really cheers you on, right?
Because so many things we do, the invisible load, everything is so, it's not seen.
And kids don't really praise you when you've cooked an amazing meal or you've packed a healthy lunch box or you cleaned up their playroom.
It's just, you know, that's just what you do.
So and that's the same in this mompreneurship.
There's so many things that we do, but they don't go unnoticed when you have this business bestie and accountability partner or this tribe that you're relying on or not relying on, but that you're in this with together.
Those things don't go unnoticed and it's so beautiful.
And it's my fuel that keeps me going.
Definitely.
And there is this powerful phrase that really taps into what you just said because it's so true when it comes to our roles as moms.
We only get, for example, we get the attention when it's in the negative sense, right?
What was this mother thinking of this child?
Or where was the mother when the accident happened type of thing?
It's everything that goes a little bit into the direction of where did I mess up?
That's where all the eyes are going to go.
But all the great things that I'm already doing, all the day in and day out of showing up and doing my best and giving the kisses and doing all the things, like where is my acknowledgement?
And so there is this amazing harmony of energies where the more that you're able to step into whatever role it is that you are undertaking in that moment with the mindset of am I enjoying myself just for the sake of enjoying myself?
Can I find joy?
Can I find fulfillment in this moment?
Even if it's not my preferred moment of the day, right?
Let's say in my case, sometimes it's like the prime time moment when I have to put my kids to bed, and it's quite challenging.
So finding myself saying can I at least find some sort of joy?
Can I dimension it in a different way so that I can really expand on it and feel like it's not another chore or another to-do and I'm exhausted and please go to sleep now, but can I just enjoy those last few moments alongside the fact that wow, it's so amazing that I do have this friend, this business bestie, this accountability partner or this coach or whoever it is on my side, cheering me on, giving me inspiration, keeping me motivated or patting me in the back saying like, tomorrow is a new day type of thing.
Combining those two energies into this beautiful harmony is what creates the magic of life, I believe.
And that is what having that people around us provide is like the icing on the cake, right?
But first you need to be baking the cake that you want to bake and enjoying that cake and having it as well.
And then the people that comes into your life that are there appreciating what you're doing but also celebrating those wins, those milestones, that is really the cherry on the top because it does something to our spirit to have that type of person in our life.
And so we want to, I guess with this episode, the aim is to make you jealous of what Des and I have, I would say.
But we do want to bring along the sense that we have this amazing opportunity to break down all the barriers from previous generations where women were pitted against women, where, oh, be careful of the girlfriends that you have.
They might be wanting to steal your husband or they're really jealous of your accomplishments and your beauty and your intelligence and they really don't mean anything from the heart, right?
Like, I think that we are the last, I hope, I'm crossing my fingers that we're really the last generation that feels the remnants of that and that we can really step into a sisterhood, into I see a woman and just because I am cheering her on, it doesn't take anything away from me.
You know, it's a very cliched phrase.
It's like a queen can correct another queen's crown and still keep her own crown type of thing.
I don't remember the phrase exactly, but it's that.
It's like, if I help you, if I provide a good insight to you, if I give you a good idea for what you're trying to do, will I feel shortchanged?
Will I feel into, well, now you owe me, or oh, she took my idea and now she is having success with me.
Can we just change that narrative and step into a space where we actually are happy to see someone else thriving?
Because we know that it doesn't take anything away.
Exactly.
I love these conversations.
I love all of that and what we shared today.
And I know in the last few weeks having this series, I know we were like kind of holding back a little bit on talking so much to each other because every time we get on a call, seriously, it's this type of conversation.
We're like, oh, we should have pressed record on that.
Those were such good nuggets, right?
So I'm glad we're leaving these amazing conversations for when we do actually press records.
I love, love, love these conversations that we have.
So with all of that said, with an accountability partner, someone on your side, you're able to move faster with more consistency, longer term, and also expand on what you may not have known was possible at the beginning.
And in next week's episode, we have the perfect example of just that, because Eva and I have come up with an amazing project, an amazing thing we're actually doing together besides this podcast, where this really comes together, you know, the working on each other's strengths and knowledge and experience.
And alone, we may not have pulled it off, but together, boom, there it is.
So stay tuned for next week's episode.
Yes, because, you know, you can go faster if you go alone, but you can go farther if you go together.
And that's the whole premise of this, is to go farther and farther with the help of beautiful people by your side, just like you are in my life.
Wait, dear mama, we're not letting you go empty-handed.
We have a truckload of freebies and free materials to help, guide and support you in your role as a mom boss.
Check out our show notes for the link and stay tuned for the next episode.
Thanks for listening!
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Episodes Mentioned
Mom Bosses Abroad: Friend or Foe | Discovering the Hidden Power of Anxiety on Apple Podcasts
Mom Bosses Abroad: Juggling Act | The Advantage of Being Multi-Passionate on Apple Podcasts
Mom Bosses Abroad: Resolution Revolution | Embracing Growth Beyond Quitters' Day on Apple Podcasts
Mom Bosses Abroad: Multi- Revenue Stream | Is Your Day Job Your Main Job? on Apple Podcasts
Mom Bosses Abroad: Expansion Without Burnout| Wealth and Your Nervous System on Apple Podcasts
