TRANSCRIPT

Expansion Without Burnout | Wealth and Your Nervous System Part 2

 

Iva 1:14

I am here today in the studio from Singapore with my business bestie and beautiful co-host Desiree Gonzalez from the studio in Japan and this is a part two from last week's episode where we are diving into the link between money, the mind, the nervous system and what are some of the things that we can do to expand that capacity within us to hold more money, to enjoy it more, to pursue bigger and better projects and endeavors for ourselves without burning out where we felt we needed to dive a little bit deeper and touch on a few more aspects that we found helped us navigate by this topic of money going into business, earning our income again. 

 

Desiree 1:3

And what do we do with it? How what do you think about it? We've already unravelled a little bit. The guilt that came with it initially about starting to charge for our services, right and I think we made a really really good revelation and you put it really on the spot like that mindset shift about why we should be charging and to do really ditch all the guilt around it. So if you haven't listened to it go back to the last episode, Episode 16. And so yeah, I can't wait to dive into a few more things. We have up our sleeves to make this topic in the mompreneurship the journey we're on much easier.

 

Iva 2:59

Yes. And again, this is this is obviously like a very broad topic because it goes into so many layers of things and we want to keep it compact and concise. We definitely do acknowledge the fact that when it comes to our business and the aspect of our business that has to do with money, spending it, earning it, charging more, where even having those conversations with other people in our sphere because let's say we want to collaborate with them. Let's say that we're being tapped to participate in a project and to join forces and synergies and you have to have these conversations about okay, well, this is what my time is worth or this is you know what I usually charge and bringing that to the table can become a little bit tangled up for many reasons. First of all, because definitely, if our relationship with money we which is very often subconscious has a lot of baggage from the past, you know the way your family used to view people talking about money or people that had money, then obviously we're going to bring that into the present with us on this. We have done some leg work already on that and we have tried to clean it up as much as possible. But also, when we're talking about the societal aspect of things where men have been predominantly the ones being more comfortable holding this type of conversations with each other and at large so men are can be very blunt and very direct and they and they just don't you know they don't feel as antsy or nervous as women talking about this because we go into the direction of well we don't have that heritage. We haven't inherited it from our mothers or grandmothers or maybe we did have some beautiful women in our life that were pioneers that they did go out and make a living themselves. But it was still very, you know very in the like, like very How can I say heat it you know, it was not broadcasted the way we are seeing it now on social media, where we have more and more women coming into a space where we are celebrating, oh, I made, you know, x- k month today. And it's been promoted more, it's more, it's more in your face type of type of situation than previous generations. So all of that comes into the mix and that's why you know, we just want to make a little bit of this of this point that we're not going to be able to cover everything right but we are going to continue the conversation in that direction. Cultural aspects to you know,

 

Desiree 5:55

Let’s not to forget where we grew up or in the countries where we're operating or something. It may also be a taboo topic, right to talk about money to ask people questions to throw around what you earned that year. That is like unheard of. And it's really a like a hush hush kind of thing. So it's so it's interesting to try it.

 

Iva 6:21

And we can feel that there's a lot still of groundwork to be covered in that sense, as you say, in terms of the culture that you grew up in,  in terms of the society, in terms of so many ways that modern life and the system is designed to such an extent, there's still a lot of things that still need to change for us and we're not going to come up with answers for that here. Either because it's a problem at large. And so the best that we can do is explore within ourselves how we can start making those paradigm shifts, so that we can inherit a better sense of confidence and empowerment to the new generation. As I always make this point you know, if you are the mom of a daughter, this is a great opportunity because it starts with you. She is going to be inheriting your viewpoints, your relationship with money to a bigger degree like she's going to watch you see if you are anxious around debt if you're always stressed if money is always an issue or problem and this that you know this is what she's going to internalize, but also our sons as well you know they also internalize how we men and money interact and then they just project that into every other female figure that they encounter. So it goes both ways.

 

Desiree 7:52

We can break the cycle for you. Definitely. Yes, yeah. I think another super important point is always the questions I pose also you know, when coaching others is, is the money really going to make you so happy? Right and it's a broad question again. And of course money is one thing we need money we need. It is that energetic Exchange, which is however very, very much necessary to you know, pay for rent, pay the bills, pay the school leg and everything. There's that part of it. Yes. However, we have to be very careful because this comparison game about people within your industry or people within your network. Oh, I made you know, a five figure months, I made six figure year, I hit the seven figure mark or whatever. Yeah, first of all, okay. revenue versus profit. That's a whole different conversation that we need to have, you know, you need to be careful. What are they really what's actually sticking around? For them? You know, or, but also, is that really does that lead to any type of freedom? Right? Does that free them up doesn't free them up? Wish? So we need to be really conscious. Why are we making this money? Why do we want to I need to make this money, right? What do we need to achieve? If there is someone like a very successful entrepreneur, throwing around really big figures? First question is that what's in it for her afterwards? After all, everything, all expenses are paid off what is actually left? But also how does that make her really from what they claim? Right? Whether it's this the freedom of choice, the freedom of like location, but what is true financial freedom to you, what is your definition of it? And I think before we go into this before we, like, abundantly receive this money and we spoke about that last week, it's how do we treat the money, right? How do we treat it in a way you're not enough? There's not right, like if I really spoke about that very nice last week, but do how do we exchange how do we absorb that energetic exchange? And what do we do with it and how does that create us happiness? How is that going to benefit our mental well being? And I think this type of mindset shift is very important just to be clear of that for yourself. Is that going to enable you to make choices for your children, for your family for taking that trip, or for you know, making a family investment and something that's important to you? Does it give you the choice to stay home? Does it give you the choice to retire your husband, for example? Your partner, right? Where does that money lead you? And I think it's a very, very big part of mental wellness, mental health. Also, to be clear on that for you, and that will change how you attract money into your life as well. 

 

 

Iva 13:02

Yeah, because what I what I feel happens in that scenario is that the lack of clarity doesn't you know, it's something that the mind cannot that he cannot really work with it because I want money. We all want money. If they ask you right now do you do want money? Would you like to have some we like to have a little bit more money than you do right now. You would say yes. Or if I asked you would you like to have more money than what you have right now? You would say? Yes, absolutely. But what's more money? Is it $1 more? Than here's $1, you actually have more than you had a second ago. Is it is it a million more? How do you quantify that and to your point, right? What is that going to ultimately get me or that I believe that that money is going to solve in my life or

 

Desiree 14:04

For a problem or it's going to allow for more of something positive.

 

Iva 14:09

And that's where that clarity needs to be come in. Because otherwise the mind it just goes into those games of saying like well, if you if you want more money then what we need is possibly just to get you know one more client or we just need to raise their prices by just a little bit more. But as you say then, when you start to take into account so many other factors like okay at the end of your of your tax year, we will have to really break down everything then what is left in your pocket? Then for your mind, your mind is not able to see that- your mind is like well, you just wanted more clients, one more client is one more client. So having that clarity is definitely and also yes, it goes in line with what we were discussing in last week's episode, which is that we have a relationship with money already. Well, we just don't see it as a relationship with money because we just we just think that money comes into our bank account or into where we have money or in our wallet, purse and then we just exchange it for something else and that's it. But again, our subconscious mind is always guiding us towards the type of choices that we're making with that money and how we're feeling as we are either spending it receiving it, asking for it, right? So exploring how this relationship with money is at the moment is a great starting point because it gives you that clarity. If you feel that your relationship with money is some days great and some days is like I have to do financials because I have to keep track of my expenses. That's boring, because I have to make payments and then most likely that relationship is going to what you're pretty much telling the subconscious mind is. That okay, this is how we will continue to be or this is the blueprint that it continues to follow until you change that. And so when you see people that as you say when you want to dig a little bit deeper and you see this person that is comfortable talking about money, she’s open about her earnings and she's not having any qualms about being that open. And maybe she's left with little, maybe she's left with a lot, but she's enjoying it. She enjoyed the getting of the money, she enjoyed the process of how it came about, you know, whether it was through working with people or through a product that she developed like, is she really enjoying the whole journey? And then when the money finally lands on her, on the profit side of thing or the revenue, the revenue side of things, and you say okay, this money now it's really mine, it's not going into the business anymore. I already paid the taxes, my overhead all the things are taken care of. And now this is the money that I get to play with and have fun with. Do I look at it and do I say oh my god so little. Like I can hardly take a ferry to the next island with this, you know, what to do. So or is her experience like oh my God, you know what? I got to buy that amazing top of the line laptop that I have been eyeing for the past year, at least this laptop, it's going to be faster because regardless of the 80,000 tabs that I have opened on it, it has a faster chip and I will be able to do more with it right now. I feel it's so important, that attitude of being grateful and the enjoyment of it. It's like they feel this conversation so that it steers away from burnout and it goes into the direction of true freedom has to be the enjoyment part of the equation as well. I mean it because if you did all the things like imagine you did all the things, you play by the rules, you were like the ‘good girl’ you got the you know you put in the effort you put in the time you did all the things and you eat all your vegetables before you get to this certain type of situation. But there's no joy in any of that. Then it's gonna feel empty. Still, even if it's your favorite dessert. I had a friend that you know, we were having this conversation. She first had her first art exhibition. And she was, you know, like the whole the whole process for her was filled with a lot of inner exploration because she had to come to grips with a lot of her internal fears about one and all those things and then finally it happened. People came they admired the work, they were like, oh my god, amazing. And for her it was a bit in the lines of oh my god, it's it just like it felt like there was something like missing a little bit you know, and what I was trying to explain to her is that that sometimes the end result cannot be the feeling that you're after. The feeling has to come at the beginning and through the whole process of getting to where the end goal is just going to measure that you arrived. It's like a binary metric. Right? It's like you were here and that you were there. But finding a feeling or finding that that end goal is going to give you that feeling that you that you set out to have in your mind that it was going to give you by achieving it most likely is not going to be there because this is a very familiar mix up that happens in our brain. And what happens is that when we are looking for certain feelings in our lives the best formula is to start incorporating them more in our day to day regardless of whether we have achieved what we are setting ourselves out to pursue and to ultimately have because otherwise you will get to that sense of Yeah, but that was it. And then once your brain is always what's next because that's its job. 

 

Desiree 34:56

Oh I felt bad about charging before and I want to know from you, the subconscious mind role in making these decisions and making these shifts right that you just explained. But before we go in there I just wanted to quickly mention one more thing that is really changed totally my mindset and how I thought about it and that is incorporating my money mindset into my why I think that was a big, big, big shift for me that I had is I wanted to I felt bad about charging before I had my why and all of a sudden when I had the a-ha I connected these. I always had a why but when I'm connected the money and income and earning and all of that financial into my why, that's when my guilt disappeared, that's when I said no that is exactly why I'm doing it. I'm not just doing it selfishly for me because Desiree wants to earn money. No I'm doing this to set up my family, for our dream life to set up my children for their future, to leave them something that when I am no longer here, to set them up, to leave them a legacy behind that can be in the form of a business. My dream is still that you know one of them will take over my business one day that I have seen beautifully created. I'm in the middle of creating right, but more so it's that legacy wealth. That is there is and we will dive into this into a future episode about how to actually create legacy wealth. Something that will be there that you can will on to your kids. We'll go into that later. But again, putting that all together into your why is what's going to change the energetics of everything is what's going to turn it around and make you able to attract money into your life in a more abundant way. I really truly believe that. But a lot of that is working on that subconscious mind into first of all, before you can do that, you have to get rid of certain blocks you may have and that's where also you come in, Iva, where with your gifts, right your ability to tap into or help people tap into their own minds. So what are some things that can be done what is what is the role of the subconscious mind and all of this?

 

Iva 32:11

Well, you have provided like a very great insight into this, into how does the subconscious mind definitely plays a very big part in. It plays the 95% part of your story with money. How can we see like the most plausible outcome that you will have if you continue down the same trajectory line you know, for the next few decades. And I love that what you shared, what I loved about your insight just now is that it touches on two things. First of all, the subconscious mind, because it's 95% of the equation. What does that mean? What that means is that if I have to draw a graph of your mind, or your brain, a tiny little speck would be the conscious mind which is 5% and the rest would be the subconscious mind. So that is how big of a difference they are. And if you want to conceptualize that even more, the subconscious mind is 30,000 times more powerful than the conscious mind. But the subconscious mind has its own language. Remember that in last week's episode we're talking about you know love languages. So the language of the subconscious mind is the language of feelings and imagination. And so the subconscious mind doesn't get excited- you know, when you're trying to get your kid motivated to clean up or motivated to eat that vegetable that they don't like, or you know to do something where they are not so keen write logic data, bringing a chart, showing them the latest research with the latest expert in the field is not going to cut it because the language of the subconscious mind is not that. It's the language of emotions and imagination. So that is why you know big companies that I’m not going to mention, they make you know fortunes and billions and trillions of dollars. Just on the on the arena of tapping into that space for children because they naturally live already in that in that arena of emotions and imagination. So when you come at it from that point, it activates something and it activates your subconscious mind and then your subconscious mind is like oh, you're talking my language. You're talking to me. Oh, now you want to do this and that's why when you said you know when I was talking my why. And you have you can have as many Y's as you want, but there's one or a couple that are really going to wake up your subconscious mind into paying attention. Because as you say the other ones just sound too logical. But when you have a why that is big enough, that it activates that emotion like when you see yourself and you're like oh my God down the line. I'm doing this because my kids are going to be you know, receiving a legacy that I build that I am passing down to them. This is a family heirloom it has an emotional value attached to it. It's not only what I'm passing down in terms of residual income or passive income, but it's like something that I built that it goes into our family values that is just going to make them be able to step into the world feeling more confident or to you know, expand on this mission and it lights me up. That feeling of lights me up, it means that you're talking the language of emotion. So your subconscious mind is now you know, it's paying attention or on board and the imagination part is okay, that vision because that why has to be big enough. It's if it's not a compelling vision, your subconscious mind cannot see it you're not painting a good enough picture for it and as you say some pictures are very vivid, but they have to be vivid and evoke an emotion and for you when you say this, why was it was my aha moment? It was because it did two things It spoke both of the, of the aspects of the language which was it evoked in emotion it made you feel proud. It made you feel like you're being a good mother. It made you feel that your kids are inheriting something that they can be proud of, you know, it's not I mean, not not to put anyone down. But let's say it's not a gambling industry where you're like, I don't believe in that because it doesn't align with my values, you know, so I wouldn't feel proud enough to pass something like that, that type of, you know what I mean? So, so for you, it was that sense of I'm proud that there's this emotion,  there's this like I'm, I'm ticking all the boxes emotionally, and also I can see my children being grown ups and taking over and consulting with me and we're taking this to the next level. So, when you're talking about okay, what then is the role of the subconscious mind or how much of a role does it play in our financial life in the relationship that we have with money in the financial decisions over how we show up with respects to this aspect that touches on money? Then what the answer is, is that because the subconscious has to have this alignment with what are our deeply held beliefs and values so when we have stories about money that align with a certain set of beliefs and values, then our subconscious mind is going to go in that direction. It's not going to ask questions, it's not going to consult and say, Are you sure? I'm just double checking? No, because these beliefs have been internalized since we were very little. And we didn't really observe them in a logical sense again, because we were so young, our parents said, oh, people that have I don't know Rich people are not happy people. And so you were like, oh, rich people are not happy people. Okay, you went with it. You didn't question it. You didn't nix it. You know, when we are at a certain age in our lives, especially childhood. We don't stop and ask ourselves is this true or untrue, healthy or unhealthy, we just take it in. We take whatever the people around us, our parents or caregivers are the ones that are giving us or feeding us into certain beliefs. But we also have the ability to examine them and to bring them into the present moment and we can upgrade them. Because we don't have to be carrying those beliefs forever and ever. Unless we unless we say yeah, those beliefs work for me. I don't have any complaints in this area of my life. So yeah, then continue believing what you're believing whatever that is because you are having the results that you want. You're seeing it in your world. But if you are on the financial spectrum, saying, Oh, I could be making more I could be charging more. I could be putting myself out there more and why am I not having more conversations on these topics with other people? Is it because I feel guilty? Is it because I feel shame? Is it because I feel you know all the judgments coming down on me? Then you have always the opportunity to reshift those beliefs, upgrade them, change them and put in new ones and your subconscious mind will take them in just as easily as it took in the ones that you got when you were younger, but you need to know how to talk to your subconscious mind to do it. And it's not through affirmations. The affirmations to work, it's just that affirmations if they don't feel completely solid and robust, and what do I mean by that? I mean to say if I'm asking you this, for example, how much is two plus two? You're gonna say it's four. Right? And they I say, Are you sure? You're gonna say yes and I'm like, Are you absolutely sure? You're gonna be like ‘Iva, I always known, this is not going to change until the day I die. It's still going to be four for me,  it's math. Come on. Affirmations have to sound and feel that way to you- to all of you. But when you when some people do affirmations, and then they put in things that they're not fully on board 100% to the point that they're like, Yes, I know two plus two is four or four plus four is eight. With that assurance that you can be on a podcast that is going to have someone listening to it going to go back and point the finger at you to say you are correct. No one's going to come back and say Iva is spreading lies on her podcast, because I know that beyond the shadow of a doubt, and that is that beyond the shadow of a doubt, energy that has to be at play for affirmations. So the best thing that you can do is to start giving yourself better evidence. 

 

So it's like imagine that you're a lawyer and you're gathering evidence to support the case. So if you go back to your earliest childhood memories with regards to money or how eat or how people around you used to refer to those that were rich, or what was the overall, you know, story or paradigm that was played out in that moment in your life with regards to money, to financial decisions to making money, earning money. Asking for money, all of that. And you realize that some stories are not so positive anymore, you know, they're not empowering or let's go back to the example okay, rich people are not happy people. Then you can see how your mind is going to want you to be happy or that you also want to be happy. So your subconscious now has to be contending with two opposing beliefs. And the problem is that the subconscious mind- one of the secrets of the mind- is that the subconscious cannot hold two conflicting beliefs at the same time. So the subconscious then it goes into a loop it's like okay, so you want to be wealthy, and you want to have money, but people that have money and that are wealthy are not happy, but you also want to be happy so then I don't know what to do. Because you want to go left and you also want to go right, and I cannot go both directions at the same price. Which one is going to be most likely the one that has the biggest or the strongest emotional pool is the one that is going to win. And in the strongest emotional pool is the one that has fear around it. So when you as a child heard, oh, wealthy people are miserable people. They're always they always end up in tragedy like those families, something always happen. Something bad is always happening to them, even though they have all this money. Guess where you're going? You're going into fear Ville? You're like, oh, yeah, that's right. I mean, you start to read the news and all the articles and you're like, oh, this famous person, she has money. And this happened to her or him and I find that even more evidence and your subconscious is just gathering more evidence and it just continues to play out that movie. So the best interrupter is for you to start consciously and that's why it takes a much longer time if you go that route, because your conscious mind is only 5% And it's this little tiny little dot that is trying to do a lot of heavy lifting, where the subconscious is like fear you know, tragedy death, all these things. If you have more money, you're gonna pay a price. It's going to be a big price. It's going to be your health maybe or whatever that is, right? It's like this huge propaganda and you're conscious and is now trying to pick up little bread crumbs along the way like No, actually, when I had this new client I bought this computer and it made me feel, you know, joyful. And now we're going to go to the park and get a gelato and it's also going to make us feel happy about it and you have to start you know, doing a little bit more like that work. So I use hypnotherapy because it just goes straight to the root cause. It's like surgery, we go straight to that belief that has the fear around it, that you internalize when you were young that you had never questioned it before. And we turn it around and we just bring in a 180 And we're like, Okay, this belief is no longer it's no longer valid. There's no need for it. We just talked to your subconscious in a way that it understands that you releases and says, Oh, okay, we're not going left them. We're going right to where you're wealthy, and happy and thriving,

 

Desiree 35:49

so much faster, faster route to get there. If you were trying to tackle it yourself and trying to you know, I believe like you said, all it takes a long time. So hypnotherapy really, really speeds things up and lets you really go so deep and almost repair right what has been done in the past. To get you to step into your new vision of belief and like, like polished a Windows. So you have clarity, right? mean,

 

Iva 36:24

Yes, yes. Clarity comes from not having that. Layered as I said those stories that conflict with one another, and then you're confused, your subconscious mind is confused and because your subconscious mind is confused, and he doesn't know what to do, it will keep you confused about it. So that's why you might see yourself into this type of avoidance tactics like oh, I'll do it tomorrow. Or oh, no, I'm not good enough for that, you know, like, Well, I wasn't meant to go into that, you know, entrepreneurship thing because possibly, I'm not good enough for you know, I'll do it later tomorrow. I'll do my taxes next week. We'll postpone it as much as I can. Or I'm already at this age where you know what it's like too late for me to be in the game. You know, like, going to all these things because this is your mind’s way of saying this is the only way I can reconcile these two things that I don't know what decision to make. So let's just postpone it, delay it. Brush it under the rug. Hide it, you know, it leads to procrastination,  leads to self sabotage, then like, you're going into all of all these patterns, and that's why you feel that a lot of people tend to find themselves drained, exhausted and feeling like they haven't been making inroads for many years because there's literally those beliefs that are so- they have such a stronghold, but they don't need to. That's the message that I want to bring home. It's not as doom and gloom. It's like, we just need to re examine them and upgrade them.

 

Desire 37:56

Exactly. So really what we are trying to say and it's been even helpful for us right to talk about all of these things is to get on to earn more money and to earn more money abundantly. Does it mean always to work harder and longer hours and is a big one? But what it means is to stop and that's the mistake I've been making a lot is I got I just got to work harder and more and longer nights and more hours, you know, to get more money, but that's not the point. The point is to change the way you think changed the way you're attracting money into your life, to change the way you speak to you the way you think about money. So, it is so powerful. It's often so underestimated what you can do. To change it to turn it around for you just start earning abundantly. So I hope this has been so helpful. Please, if you haven't listened to last week's episode, do listen to this. Come back to this episode as well. I hope they were helpful tips in there. We're here to support in any which way we can. And yeah, money is not a bad thing. Let's change that narrative. For us for our children. Let's break that cycle. And yeah, start seeing a whole new light.

 

Iva 39:32

Yes, and it's also important to feel safe around money, right. So if for some reason has become something that you associate with being dangerous, stressful, guilt or shame. It's important to signal to your body that you're actually safe when you're triggered by money issues. So that's where having this time to practice mindfulness. It's very it's very handy to link those positive associations around money starting today like if the memories from the past, obviously, you cannot change those. But you can start creating new ones and you can start creating more evidence. And if you are still struggling with financial stress or anxiety, you can always seek professional help, right? It's better to raise your hand and to say, hey, on this one, I really need someone to guide me a little bit better. There's no shame in that a lot of us have that. And even the most seasoned veterans and pros and people that we see that are like smashing it and having like this killer days and weeks and months in their business. They also have to turn corners in with each new layer that they achieve. And they also need to reset their own nervous system to that new ballgame. And so do we. So there's no shame in that.

 

 

Important Links:

Momergy Essentials - Home | Momergy Essentials

Iva Perez - The Momergy Movement
Desiree Gonzalez - Oily Essentials

 

Follow us on:

Facebook
Facebook Page Momergy Essentials
Facebook Group: Momergy Essentials | The Work-Life Harmony Movement

 

Instagram
@Momergy Essentials Instagram

@MomergyMovement Instagram

@desiree_oilyessentials Instagram

Resources

Are you ready to manifest your desires? If you’re a busy moms with little to no time, 20 minutes is all it takes to watch the Manifesting Made Easy For Busy Mom Bosses masterclass. Know and master a solid foundation on how to use less effort while creating a life you love and bringing in more of what you want in your life with ease. Plus, you will learn about integrating essential oils to magnetize you at the deepest cellular level. After this Masterclass you can start asking for what you want and be prepared to get it. Don't say we didn't warn you! 

 

Episodes Mentioned

 

Mom Bosses Abroad: Expansion Without Burnout| Wealth and Your Nervous System on Apple Podcasts